It’s no secret how much people have become obsessed with their devices. Just like any other dopamine triggered addiction, it’s hard to quit something that keeps you wanting more. Phones, tablets, and computers can make us more efficient and keep us connected to our social networks. These devices also allow us to be easily accessible all hours of the day. Most people I know have their phone within reach, such as when sleeping, working, during leisure time, and even when in the bathroom. According to current research, the average response time for people on phones via text message is around 90 seconds, with most texts being read within 3 minutes of being sent. That’s a huge difference from when I was a kid, when we had to check our answering machine for messages. It’s crazy how much the world can change in 20 years. Although, I think it’s great to have quick contact if truly needed, I kind of miss the answering machine. Lately, I’ve become more aware of how we have evolved into such a technology dependent society. It’s been easy enough for businesses, because people love buying things, and they love having the best version out there. Advertising has made selling the latest model phone or other device easy enough, because most people want what everyone else has. Even if they just bought a new device last year, again most people want the best with the latest features. I know those people. I on the other hand, the odd person in the group, I’m happy with what I have even if it’s simple. I mostly use my phone for calls, texts, google search engine, my calendar, and notes. I don’t scroll. My husband scrolls, his sister scrolls, his 70-year-old uncle scrolls, most people scroll and are constantly using their phones. I have spent time scrolling and can relate to how easy it is to get lost in the web. For me, simply watching a movie can make me look up an actor from the movie, which leads me to looking up their Wikipedia page, which leads to clicking on other information of that actor or actress, and the next thing I know it’s 2 hours later and I’m wondering where the time went? How did that time spent serve me? Why did I even care? I can also get lost looking for real estate. It’s not like I’m ready to move or buy a house, but I get lost looking to see what’s locally on the market. Again, this time spent doesn’t benefit me, it doesn’t serve me, and it doesn’t make me happy. I get frustrated with myself afterwards, but it’s so easy to look things up if you’re curious and that becomes addictive. Unlike many, I don’t have any social media accounts, other than Pinterest. I’m an introverted type of person, so maybe that has something to do with it. As a society, we get lost spending time doing unimportant things just to entertain ourselves, and we lose focus on what really matters and what actually serves us. For me, it’s my children, they are my world and one day not far from now, they will not be little anymore. So why not savor this time we have together.
I encourage you to take some time in your busy day, to make a list of things that truly matter to you. Things that really make you happy and are also good for you. Think of what you are grateful for and what you would love more time for. That’s how you should spend your time! ****This blog post is not intended to attack anyone or to make anyone feel bad for loving their devices, it’s hard not to. My intension is to build awareness and to encourage people to make more time for what’s already in front of them and to spend less time scrolling just to kill boredom. You won’t even remember what you’ve looked at or the T.V. shows that you have watched, but the memories that you make together are unforgettable. So, replace screen time doing something that can benefit you and your family, like learning a new hobby/task or simply strengthening bonds with your loved ones. I know how nice it is sometimes, to just get lost in a device and to just not think, so take time for that but limit it. Let’s make more time for being mindful. For example, when I would lie down with my son while he would fall asleep, I used to always have my phone with me to try to organize my calendar for the next day or to write down notes, because my mind never stops planning or thinking and I feel like I don’t get much time to complete the things that I think I need to do. So, I would use my sitting time or in this situation my lying down time for this purpose. When my husband takes his turn with our son, he also takes his phone. My 5-year-old son has other thoughts about it. It’s distracting to him when he is trying to fall asleep, I have sensed that he would try to pull me into the moment, to simply be with him and cuddle. It’s amazing that a five-year-old can see this and grown-ups have a hard time, and likewise. When my son plays his tablet or video games, he gets pulled in for extended periods of time and doesn’t see the problem that I see. So, it’s nice that we can help pull each other out of the technology trap that can get you stuck. Then there’s the issue of being on our phones with our children the car. Is it really worth it? We have to tell ourselves that whatever it is can wait. Our children are worth not being on the phone. Whether you have children or not you alone are worth it, and the people driving in the other car are worth it. Everyday we’re teaching our children how to behave and what is acceptable. Our children mimic us. I’ve seen it with my own children. Recently, a friend told me that he kills boredom during his commute watching You Tube videos. I couldn’t believe it. I tried to convince him to stop that bad habit and I will continue to do so, but he doesn’t see the problem. It’s not worth the major consequence that can present itself one day. We need to be okay with just driving, being mindful of what we see and hear, and not needing to multitask when it’s unnecessary. My friend also told me that his brother does the same. Unfortunately, there are likely many other drivers doing the same thing. How scary is that? But knowing this, helps me be more attentive when on the road.
For me, I want to be more in the moment, to fully share time with my loved ones, and to take time to connect with my surroundings. There is always another time to do the things that I feel like I need to do, and I just need to become better at reminding myself of that and making the most of my time. I also need to learn how to be okay with just being and not feel like I need to always do something. I need to beat my anxiety and be okay with simply relaxing and being present.
TAKE THE CHALLENGE TO LIMIT SCREENTIME!
Challenge yourself to replace your bad habits with good habits. Take time to notice how you spend your time. How many hours each day are spent on your devices? Without my phone in my hand during my commute I can be more mindful of the sunrise, of the beauty nature brings, and most importantly the cars around me. I can listen to a podcast or positive music that will serve me and lift me up. As an extra challenge, limit screen time for your entire family. Practice togetherness. We all know that time goes by way too fast, so why waste it being distant and in our screens.
Tips for families:
- Each day set aside 1-2 hours of personal time, in which you and your kids can spend that time on phones or devices.
- No devices during family time. Spend that time to connect and maintain a strong bond. Listen to each other. Listen to listen and not to respond. Have a designated movie night, in which it leaves something to look forward to. Decide how you spend your time together, together. Listen to each other’s ideas.
- Put your screens down 2 hours before bedtime. This will allow for adequate time for melatonin production, for a good night’s rest for everyone. Less time on screens will allow for greater appreciation for how your time is spent and who you spend it with. Once upon a time we did not rely on screens, and we can do it again. Again, I do agree that screens can be useful, I appreciate the ease with connection and I use screens for writing and research for my blog topics. But limiting this time spent will benefit me and my family greatly.
- Initiate one day out of the week for no screens for the entire day. For myself and my family, I have created NO SCREEN SATURDAY. In which, each Saturday I make it a goal of mine to limit touching my phone for personal things. Having one day to completely disconnect is my overall goal. It does make me nervous to be unavailable if someone needs me. So, I plan to just look if I get a call and respond if truly needed. Otherwise, I will not be by my phone or rely on it for things. I plan to be mindful. I plan to play. I plan to just go with the flow and have no real schedule for one day out of the week. See my BE MINDFUL-NO SCHEDULE-NO SCREEN-18 DAY CHALLENGE blog post for more.
Friends, I challenge you to take this 18 day challenge to limit your screen time. We all have different schedules and have different circumstances, so no challenge will look the same. Look at how much time is spent on screens and write it out. This should paint a better picture of how much time you could spend doing something that can actually bring you happiness and serve you. To start, challenge yourself to cut your time spent scrolling or on social media accounts by at least half. Now let’s get started and become mindful2happy together.
